Ten Tenets of Managing Travel Expectations

The excitement of trip preparations (to say nothing of social media) can place a burden of unrealistic expectations on even the best-planned itinerary to a bucket-listy destination. These ten tips will help you to negotiate an amicable truce between lofty ambition and reality on the ground.

1. Expenses

Like remodeling your kitchen, your trip is almost certain to cost at least a little more than you think. Mentally prepare for an excess of 10% to 20% because you may need to reroute a train ride, stay in more expensive lodgings then you’d planned, replace the phone or camera that you left on a park bench while feeding pigeons, bribe people in positions of logistical influence, take a last-minute flight instead of a ferry, absorb the loss of both cash and pride from a low-level scam (don’t get me started on exchanging money on the street in Budapest), cough up hidden surcharges such as municipal resort fees, restock your new wallet after its predecessor’s brush with some adroit doigts in Le Métro, etc.

2. Time #1

No matter how well you plan, you will waste 10% to 20% of your time. And the likelihood of waste increases with the complexity of your itinerary. Just try to make sure that you do at least one memorable thing on even the worst of days so that you don’t feel as if it was a complete waste. Despite whatever else went wrong, a tasty meal, an invigorating hike up a nearby hill or spontaneous visit to a site of some kind, even if it lasts only 45 minutes, will at least help you feel as if the day produced some value.

3. Time #2

Most things except Swiss trains or getting your quid pinched in Westminster will take longer than you think. Even trusty Google Maps drive times become largely untrustworthy in many parts of the world. For example, the rule of thumb in Central America is to triple whatever time the map tells you on anything but the major arteries. Another rule of thumb is to quadruple the time normally required to do anything at all if you’re traveling with a toddler or preschooler — exactly like parenting at home, except you’re doing it in an indecipherable language, a strange currency and a youth hostel WC. So craft your itinerary such that secondary plans can be dropped as needed, and without major consternation, in order to accommodate the higher priorities as your planned timelines warp along the space-time continuum.

4. Recognize the Limits of Even Very Thorough Planning but Plan Thoroughly Anyway

You’re going to miss something really special because you weren’t aware of it, had misunderstood it and therefore not prioritized it, or had altogether the wrong idea about how / when / where to experience it. One way to avoid the latter problem is to understand that the circumstances that make certain places especially magical can be especially ephemeral. So, although it may seem obvious, be sure to know when the cherries are blossoming, the bay is abounding in bioluminescent plankton, the rice terraces are at their most verdant, the elephants / whales / butterflies are migrating, etc.

5. Known Unknowns and Other Disappointments

And yet regardless of how meticulously you plan, you’ll miss something at no fault of your own. That monument is under scaffolding. That painting is on loan to another museum. The railways or national parks unions are on strike. A riot follows the soccer loss / victory / tie / cancellation. Some local holiday that you could not reasonably have been expected to know about means that the church or castle or market closed at noon instead of 5:30. Martial law is imposed because of the latest military coup.

In other words, you don’t know what will happen; just know that it will happen. So be prepared to focus on the positives, e.g., “Look, honey, a real tear-gas canister!” “Ah, delightful! That’s also known as a ‘lachrymator,’ from lacrima, the Latin word for tear.” “Oh, like at mass last week, the really sad music was the lacrimosa.” “Exactly!” “Wow, we’re racking up serious cultural immersion points today, aren’t we?” “Yes, indeedy!”

Whatever the nature or cause of inevitable disappointments, don’t let these immediately cast a pallor over your entire trip. A dozen years from now, the good memories from your adventure will prevail over the bad ones, and even the lingering negative ones will serve to bond you and your travel companions: “Remember that time when we couldn’t find the Tower Bridge through the fog, and ended up spending the afternoon making fry figurines in the Whitechapel McDonald’s instead? Silly us, ha ha ha…”

6. Jet Lag and Midlife

If you’re inclined toward ambitious itineraries (like I am), and yet anyone in your travel party is over 40 (like I am) and you’re going west to east, you’ll be lucky to accomplish more than 40% of your plans on the first day and 70% on the second. You may hit full stride by day three.

7. Damage

You’ll snag / lose / stain / ruin at least one item of clothing, which will probably be your favorite. But remember that most places you’re going have at least semi-functional economies, and definitely some sort of commerce taking place, so there’s very little that you truly need that you can’t replace on the go.

8. The Instagram Effect

Most of the photos you’ve seen of the place you’ve been planning to visit were taken by either professional photographers or talented amateurs with sophisticated filters, at the ideal time of day with superb lighting conditions in perfect weather and during the most flattering season of the year. This goldilocks convergence of experiential bliss occurs 1% of the time. The rest of the time, expect it to be overcast and even rainy, and the days of robin’s-egg blue skies dappled with photogenic cloud puffs will come as delightful gifts.

9. Rain

Bearing #8 in mind, always carry a disposable poncho and have an inclement-weather contingency plan: museum, room service, cenote, spa, cooking lessons, cathedral, shopping, concert, spelunking, etc.

10. Bad Advice

And finally, whether from a guidebook or a friend or a local or this website, you’re going to get bad advice. Someone’s treasure will prove to be your trash, and someone’s trash (real or feigned, the latter usually expressed with some version of the conspicuous jet-set-sated blasé of “Dahhhling, I simply can’t tolerate the crowds at the Great Wall and the Forbidden City…”) will be your treasure. Ultimately, only you will know the difference, and that’s all that matters.

QUESTIONS FOR READERS

• What are some of the ways you avoid travel disappointments?
• What’s most exciting for you: The planning, the travel, or the memories?
• Can you share a great “rescued a day from the jaws of defeat” story?